If you know your going to be calling in sick, remember to complain about fake symptoms before and after you get "sick" or "ill". Try and get someone to call in sick for you, so it can show authenticity because you are in bed doing terrible and not able to call. If someone calls in for you, they might forget to ask you for a note. You have a couple choices. You can tell your work that you cannot afford a note, you do not have a ride to the doctor's office and you are not able to go alone, you can tell your work that you called your doctor instead of going in person or last but not least (I don't reccomend) fake your symptoms to your doctor and get a real note. If you call in sick, make sure you or the person calling for you sells it!

1. _______(your name) lost their voice and their throat really hurts so they can't come into work. (Get someone to call in for you)

2. I'm not coming into work today, I have caught pink eye and I don't want to spread it.(Pink eye is contagious)

3. I can't come into work today, I have food poisoning from the chinise food last night, I can't get off the toilet.

4. I think I've caught the 24 hour flu, I feel like crap, hopefully it will pass by tomorrow. (speak low and sick-like)

5. I can't come into work I have horrible allergies, I think it's from _________(season changing, dust, etc.) I feel terrible I won't be able to come in.

6. I'm not coming to work today, I have a very bad cold. (Use paper towel up your nose for the stuffy nose effect)

7. I have very bad asthma and I have no medicine left. I got one of my family members to go get me more more asthma medicine. I called my doctor and he/she told me to stay home and rest. I can't make it in today. (speak low and out of breath)

8. I was kissing a girl/guy last night at the bar/night club and I think they gave me mono. I'm coughing, my throat hurts and I feel horrible, I can't come in.

9. My breakfast gave me food poisoning on the way to work and I can't stop throwing up and can't get off the toilet.

10. I'm not coming into work today, I caught pink eye from a family member.

11. I won't be coming into work today, I just realized I've had lice for the last couple of days and I'm going to stay home so I get rid of it and don't spread it anymore.

12. I drank rotton milk last night/this morning and I'm throwing up like crazy. My stomach hurts as well, Im taking the day off, I don't feel good.

13. I can't come into work because I have alcohol poisoning, I feel really horrible and sick. (Appologize for drinking but tell them it was only a few drinks and you don't know why it happened)

14. I can't come into work today, I have really bad cramps and I can barely walk because it hurts so bad, I set up an appointment for an ultrasound.

15. I fainted at a red light on the way to work, and I just woke up in the hospital. They want me to stay here for testing.

16. I'm sorry for not showing up to the beginning of my shift, I was getting ready for work when I fainted, I just woke up in the emergency room at the hospital.

17. I can't come into work today, my nose started bleeding and wouldn't stop so I called the ambulance and I am in the hospital now awaiting a doctor to tell me whats wrong. (You can have a second day off if you say they are going to do surgury to stop the bleeding noses)

18. I'm not coming into work today, I have a rash all over my arms and chest and must go to the doctors to get medication cream to get rid of the rash.

19. I am not coming into work today, I am going to the ear doctor because I am having trouble hearing.

20. I'm not coming into work today, I am going to the eye doctor because things are a little blurry and I might need glasses.

21. I won't be coming to work today, I have a dentist appointment and I am getting a root canal done.

22. I can't come into work today, I have a dentist appointment and I am pulling out my 4 wisdom teeth.

23. I'm not coming into work today I have a serious migraine.

24. I can't come into work today, last night I ate very old halloween candy and my stomach is been killing me all night and all morning.

25. I'm not going to come into work today, I caught the stomach flu.

26. I can't come into work today, I have an ear infection.

27. I can't come to work today, my sore throat feels like its getting worse. (The next day you call in with strep throat for an extra day off)

28. I won't be able to come into work today, I have a yeast infection and I have to go to the doctors office.

29. I can't come into work today I have a sinus headache and it feels like my eyeballs are getting pushed out of the sockets.

30. I can't come to work today I have a prostate exam, wish me luck!

31. I won't be coming into work today, my doctor gave a perscription and it gave me an allergic reaction.

32. Someone calls in for you - ________ (Your name) is not coming into work today or tomorrow because he/she has laryngitis and cannot say a word and his/her throat hurts.

33. I won't be coming into work, I just had a seizure and I'm going to the family doctors/hospital to check up.

34. I'm not coming into work today, I woke up and all my muscles are weak and I can't move. I'm getting someone in my family to take me to the doctors or hospital.

35. I just had a stroke, and I won't be coming into work today. A family member is taking me to the hospital.

36. I can't come into work today, I woke up with dizziness, fatigue and chest pains. I'm being taken to my family doctor.

37. I just had my first anxiety attack (panic attack) and I'm on my way to the hospital.

38. I won't be in today, I have dermatitis (rashes due to allergies), and I'm going to get it checked out.

39. I'm not coming into work today, I have an ulcer and I must go to the doctor's office.

40. I can't come to work today, I'm suffering from hypersomnia(sleeping to much) and I have to go to the doctors and find out what my problem is so I can come into work tomorrow.

41. I'm not coming into work today, I was stung by a bee and I'm having a allergic reaction and must go to the hospital.

42. I can't come into work today, I forgot my surgery to get my appendix removed is today.

43. I was called into the doctor office today, due to my recent health check. The results are in and my doctor would like to talk to me.

44. I can't come into work today, my doctor called me in for MRI testing today(or MRT- magnetic resonance imaging/tomography)

45. I have to get an electroencephaloogram (EEG) test today to study my brain patterns. It's a must do.

46. I have to do a cat scan today, sorry I just found out and I can't miss it.

47. One of my overies failed, I did a test yesterday and my doctor said I have to get an operation, I'll be out for a week or more.

48. My testicals twisted while I was sleeping last night, so i called my doctor and she said I'll be out for a week. ANd also told me I should come in to check out the problem.

49. I was called in for a PET scan today, I cant come into work today.

50. I have a bladder infection, it really hurts and I'm getting a ride to check it out.

51. I fell threw a sheet of ice yesterdy getting a ball that rolled on to the frozen pond. I got out okay, but I feel like I'm coming down with the flu and some very bad migrains. (1-4 days)(try to speak scratchy and sick)

52. I was poisoned by a amphibian (frog) in the backyard and I'm on my way to the hospital. I'm pretty sure I'm not making it in.

53. I think I contracted an influenza, I feel horrible and I have so many symptoms. Headache, fever, aching muscles, I'm going to need __ days(2-5 days). If I can get up or get a ride to the hospital I will. (influenza-bad flu so act and speak like you have symptoms stated above)

54. My internal organs are acting up and everything hurts, I can't come into work today because I can't barely move.(or funny..?)

55. My intestines are claughed and it hurts, because it feels like my rear exit is building up full of old poo. I'm calling for help because I am taking excesive amounts fibre now, see if I can brake the wall of china in my ass. I can barely walk from the pain and I'm not coming into work today. (Also found in funny)

56. I woke up today to rashes all over from playing ball. I feel very sick and I feel like I have a horrible fever. I'm going to send someone to get me medication and I'll keep you informed on my condition. I think I was in contact with poison ivy yesterday. (1-5 days off, call them and keep them informed telling them how terrible you feel and when you are starting to feel better)

57. This morning I felt very sick, so I went to the doctors and he told me I contracted malaria. And it was because I went out with a good friend yesterday and he/she just came back from ________(country). I feel terrible apparently my condition might last for months, but I'm taking medication so I might beat it within a week or two. (1-4 weeks - call in every other day to update them on your condition, lie down, sound like you mean it.

58. I took a high dosage of the wrong medicine, I feel very, very drowsy and I can't drive or concentrate. I can't possibly come in.(speak as if you are drowsy and about to pass out)

59. My eyes hurt and I'm going to see the optomotrist. I need to check if I need new glasses/contacts because it hurts to keep my eyes open. I can't come into work.(speak with your eyes closed)

60. I have a high fever ear infection, everything hurts especially my ears. I have a migraine and I can't get out of bed. I'm sorry I can't come in today.

61. I have no energy what-so-ever, even after an 8 hour sleep. I tried coffee, energy drinks, everything. Nothing is working, so I'm not coming in. I need to go to my doctors to see what the problem is. (lay down and speak like you can't move)

62. I have my period and it really hurts. I have very painful cramps and I can't really walk so I can't come in.

63. I discovered I have athletes foot, my feet are very inchy and I can't concentrate walking like this. I need to go get some cream or powder for my problem. I can't come in today.

64. I started to cough out blood today, so I'm rushing to the hospital. The blood won't stop coming up after every cough. I can't come into work today. (while you call them speak and act as if you are coughing up blood)

65. I was at my swimming lessons earlier and accidentally drank too much chlorine water, my eyes really hurt, I'm all woozy and throwing up.

66. I ate some left overs last night/this morning and I'm puking, having terrible stomach pains and can't get off the toilet. I have to take the day off.

67. I'm sorry, I can't make it in. I'm so constipated, I can't poo and my stomach really hurts.

68. My nose is very congested and I can't breathe properly. I need some perscribed medication for this breathing problem. I can't come into work today. (Plug your nose and speak low and slow when you call in)

69. I had a allergic reaction, due to mercury from the fish I was eating. I feel real sick, so I'm not going to make it to work today. I need some medication.

70. I woke up feeling like I have vertigo, so I called my doctor and described my symptoms. He/she told me to stay home and to send someone to pick up medication for me. I'm not coming into work today, I feel horrible with dizziness, disorientation, and nauseous.

71. I was called last night for a reminder of my dentist appointment today. I can't miss it or I have to pay the appointment regardless. I'm sorry

72. I ate too much breakfast at the all-you-can-eat breakfast place and I'm so stuffed that seriously, my stomach is really hurting and I can barely move. I was expecting to come in, but now I feel like crap and I can't come in.

73. I went to go donate blood earlier, I donated too much blood and I feel really woozy, not feeling to great to come into work, sorry.

74. I went out to the movie theatre last night and I must of contracted an airborne sickness, because this morning I woke up with headaches, nausious, vomitting and stomach pains. I feel really bad, and I can't get out of bed. I can't come in. (call in the next day to say you still have symptoms but you are getting better, 1-2 days off)

75. I'm signing up to be an organ donor and they need to test me today before I can become an organ donor. I'm doing this because one of my family members was recently saved because of an organ donor.

76. My feet are all swollen and I can barely walk. I think I have gout (rich mans disease). I'm not able to walk so I'm not able to come in today.

77. My throat was hurting so I took alot of cough medicine and I'm kind of droozy and drunk. I can't come in.

78. My penis shrunk overnight and I'm really scared because my girlfriend/wife hasn't seen how incredible small it has srunk. I need to go get some medical testing, I can't come in.

79. My sinus is blocked and I have a migraine that's getting worse. I shouldn't come into work today because I know I'm going to be in alot of pain in a few hours. I'm sorry I'll take some medication and be in tomorrow.

80. My hearing is really low today more so than usual. I'm going to check out my ears to see if I need a hearing aid. I'm not coming into work today, I can barely hear anything. (When you are talking to them, act as if you cann barely hear them, and say - what?, sorry I can't hear you. sorry what? - throughout the conversation)

81. My chest feels like it's caving in and I cannot breathe properly so I'm not going to come into work today. (Lie down and speak as if you have little air)

82. My hormones are crazy right now, I can't focus or think straight. It's better if I stay home, I can't come in.

83. I overtanned earlier and it feels like I'm having a heat stroke, I'm feel really disoriented, I'm not coming into work today.

84. I think someone put something in my body wash because I'm ichy all over my body. It's really annoying,I and I can't concentrate, it feels like I have chicken pox. I'm going to get something for the ich, I'm not going to come into work today.

85. I couldn't really sleep last night because of my allergies so I took some sleeping medication. Now I'm struggling to move after taking so much medication. My allergies are worse than last night, and I don't feel well at all. I'm not coming in.

86. I can't come into work, I ate a synthetic sandwitch and I'm puking my guts out, I feel like sh*t.

87. I'm up swelling up probably because I accidentally ate _______(fish,etc) and I'm allergic to it. I didn't know what I was eating, it was pre-cooked. I feel and look terrible, I'm can't come in.

88. My pee is coming out red today, I'm really scared so I'm going straight to the hospital to check it out, I can't come into work today.

89. I'm not coming into work, I think I'm passing kidney stones. I'm in so much pain, I'm waiting for the ambulance to come to my house and take me to the hospital. I can't come into work.

90. The weather was so hot today I decided to walk to work but I fainted from the heat on my way, someone helped me and I was taken to the hospital.