Extended Absence Excuses

From a few weeks off to months off, you can find different ways to get that time off in this category. You must put alot more effort than calling in. If your going to get seen in areas, walking around fine when you supposebly have a broken ankle, you'll get caught, don't be there! Which ever excuse you use, make sure you don't post pictures of yourself having a blast drinking if your going through a fake pregnancy. Or running around if you injured your ankle or leg. If you have Social media accounts where your friends and co-workers can see your businesss, post pictures of your excuse. Post pictures of your friends signing your fake cast or post up a fake baby scan picture of your "future baby". Whatever the excuse may be, stay on your toes because these are can be tricky if you slip.

1. I wont be in for this up coming week until ________(date). I have volunteered to go over seas and help build houses, churches and schools for the less fortunate. The country I have volunteered to go to is ________(3rd world country).

2. I won't be coming into work today, I am getting my tonsils out and I won't be able to speak for about a week.

3. I won't be coming into work today or for a week because my son/daughter has just contracted chicken pox, and I am the only one able to take care of him/her.

4. I won't be coming into work today, I just found out my significant other cheated on me. I'm taking this week to move out all my things. It was a serious break up.(if your seen together, say you are back together)

5. I signed up on a missionary trip and I just found out I got accepted, I'm leaving on ________ and coming back on _______(1-4weeks).I am helping the children in poverty of ________(country)

6. I'm not coming in tomorrow or for the next 10-15 days, I'm reducing some fat on my _____(stomach, arm, etc) through a surgury clinic deal I found to reduce fat for a very affordable price.(The next 10-15 days off, no matter what you do, if you go on vacation or camping, make sure you run like crazy and work out in order to show a difference in fat loss)

7. I was taking my usual morning bike ride earlier, I hit a ditch and my bike flipped over. I landing on my head, and I'm bleeding thats why I'm on my way to the hospital now. My neck really hurts too. (When you call your work to inform them about the tragic neck injury. You can't make any real movement for the next 2-3 weeks shoulder up. Visit your employers with a neck brace and act very fragile. If you have a good relationship, you'll be sure to have it off with no questions.

8. My chest full of clothes fell and landed on my left/right foot. I can't walk and going to go get it checked out. (You call in after your "xrays" and say you fractured a bone in your big tow or sprained your big toe. You find crutches, make a cast and visit work with your new injury (3 weeks- 2months)

9. My ________(boyfriend, husband, random guy, etc) got me pregnant and getting an abortion this week. I need this week off, it's going to be a tough time for me emotionally. (1-2 weeks)

10. Want a week off? get up in the morning and get a red fine point permanent marker and just dab your whole body with little red dots. Go to work and just repeatedly scratch your self everywhere as if you have chicken pox. Someone will notice and say something, tell them you haven't looked in the mirror yet but your really ichy. Chicken pox usually takes about a week to heal, so they will not question you for being absent for the rest of the week after you approach them and show them your condition.

11. I'm getting an immediate surgery, scheduled last night by my surgeon. It's regarding removing my gull bladder, it's going to hurt and I'm going to need __ days off. (2-5 days off)

12. I'm having cosmetic surgery removing my ________(gut, arm fat, leg fat, etc.). This requires me to be off for 10 days, I paid for it and it's happening on ____(next day or whenever). (The time you get off, within that 10 days, you must run and work out like crazy to show a great improvement when you go back to work, even if you go on vacation remember you must show improvement where you are getting the "surgery")

13. ________(your name) was hit in his/her neck by a hockey puck, near his/her throat while he/she was playing hockey. He/she can't come into work because he/she is in bad condition and will be out for 1-2 weeks. (Get someone to call this one in for you, and get someone to give you a big hickey, as if it were a hockey puck in the neck, before you go back into work)


1. Make a cast and fake a broken ankle or a broken wrist. Make sure your employer won't ask for xrays due to your serious injury. Go in and visit with your fake cast and create the story any way you like to explain how you fractured a bone. Maybe playing soccer or hockey? Maybe running or dancing. Either way you must find crutches to use if you break any parts of your leg. If you work with your hands, you may want to break a wrist or arm and if you work on your feet, a ankle or leg. Remember to get your cast signed by family and friends!

-Mix glue and water
-Dip plain pieces of paper in the glue water mix
-Wrap the dipped pieces where you want the cast
-Remember to put olive oil before you apply the fake cast
-So it isnt to hard to take out


-Get a long white sock sock and make holes at the end for your fingers or toes
-Use medical wrap to wrap around the sock and arm or ankle
-You can put another color pre-wrap over (cast can be different colors)


-Apply vasaline to area then cover with a sock with holes at the end if you want your fingers or toes to be exposed
-Make plaster dip and dip plain paper then applying plaster coated paper over sock creating a cast.
-Make it thick enough to dry as a cast.
-If you would like to take it on and off as you please cut before plaster dries.
-Add some more plaster dipped bandages not coversing the cut.
-Wait to dry

2. If you are a female and would garuntee a few months off you must go to the extreme, thats right, pregnancy. You do not mention anything at first. When you tell them you are a few months in to your pregnancy start sticking out your stomach like your bloated. Only for a few weeks. Then you must start dressing so you have an extra pieces of clothing under the stomach area. Grab the best, thickest balloons in town. Obviously over the next months at work you must play it off like you are ready to expect a child and dress like a child is about to come out of you. Then is your time off, your stomach is hurting, you have morning sickness and you cannot come into work until after the pregnancy. After the pregnancy, your employer wants you back to work and will ask you about your child, you have 3 options.
1. The child was lost during the pregnancy.
2. I put the child up for adoption because a family would give him/her more opportunity than I currently can.
3. You lie about having a non existant baby for the rest of your time at that job.